Saturday, 27 September 2008

This Sporting Strife - Dudley Sports 0 Darlaston Town 1 - West Midlands League Premier Division - Hillcrest Avenue - 23/09/08

I'm working far too many weekends at the moment which is having an adverse effect on my ability to watch any football never mind Tamuff, but there's always the odd midweek game around the Black Country to sate my appetite.

Dudley Sports Hillcrest Avenue ground is one I have driven past many times on my way to other games but this was my first ever visit to watch a game. It's an old Birmingham Works ground, I could tell you the name of the firm that used to play on it but I have left the programme with this information at home (I'm writing this at work when I should be doing something more productive and work related! Luckily I don't think my boss has any interest in non-league football, in fact as a Chelsea fan he doesn't really have any interest in any type of football.). I know the firm in question had something to do with pies.

Typical of an old works ground it has an extensive clubhouse. These clubhouses always seem to sell at least one type of beer that is just never found in any

Must get a better camera

other pub in the area, in this case it was Mansfield Bitter!

Also typical of these grounds is the attached bowling green and a large expanse of grass next to the railed off pitch that used to be a cricket pitch, Pilkington's Triplex Sports Ground is another typical example.

Have I said the word typical too many times above? Probably, but that's bloody typical.

As mentioned, the pitch is fully railed off with some corrugated iron shelters on the changing room and snack bar side of the pitch and a small stand with a couple of benches opposite, that's about it as far as ground furniture goes besides the dug-outs. The Dudley manager didn't actually use his dug-out, preferring to stand on the edge of his technical area all match jumping up and down in apoplectic, red-faced rage, but I've seen him in action before so I wasn't phased.

Darlaston are currently top of the West Midlands League despite having been thrashed 4-1 by Shawbury in their last game, Dudley Sports are languishing near the bottom so it looked on paper like a one-sided match. Indeed Darlo did look the better side at the start, passing it around nicely and winning a penalty early on which they converted to take the lead. I was half expecting them to run away with it after that but it didn't happen, Dudley came back into the game and then it all descended into a very poor mass of mistakes.

Another veteran of West Midlands match hopping, Dave Woodhall, reckons by the "three things rule" saying that a half-decent team should be able to do three things right in a row, say: control - pass - decent cross or pass - good run - decent shot, if they can't manage that you know your watching a poor game, this was by any reckoning a poor game!

But solace was at hand! As half-time approached we noticed that not only did the snack-bar do chips, they did curly fries! Curly fries at a football match - fantastic!

Fortified by curly fries (did I say they were great?) and a cup of tea we settled down for the second half but it didn't get much better. Dudley were marginally the better side but couldn't force an equaliser, in fact the most entertaining thing was probably the Dudley No.5 whose consistent berating of the officials with his mantra; "'Ow Con yow see that from there?" was mildly amusing seeing as he never crossed the half-way line and was therefore usually much further away from the action than the ref was.

Attendance - £3

Programme - £1

Attendance - 34 (headcount)

Curly Fries - £1 (they were lovely by the way)

Public transport - 311 bus from Wednesbury to Stourbridge passes by the ground.

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Ooh! Can you feel the excitement? Live Blogging is Back!

Yup, I'm stuck at work so it's time to live blog today's football.

14:43 - As well as proper football we've also got World Cup 2010 Qualifiers. England will struggle to a narrow win against the might of Andorra later but Scotland are already playing - and losing 1-0 in Macedonia. There was also a 5-4 win for Peterborough against Bristol Rovers.

14:46 - I couldn't get the non-league vidiprinter to work last time I tried it but I'll have another go today. Sky Sports and Radio Five will be my other main sources.

14:50 - WCQ HT score check - Seychelles 0-1 Burundi

14:51 - I see that Lewis Hamilton has secured pole position in the Belgium round of Follow-the-leader.

14:57 - Difficult game for Tamuff today, home to Harrogate who will be right up there at the end of the season, could be another draw I reckon.

15:03 - Well, either bugger all's happening or everything is broken!

15:04 - Oh, here we go. Forest Gump 0-1 Webbedfeet.
Concord Rangers 1-0 Waltham Forest

15:06 - Concord have gome supersonic. Om bloody hell, I'm sorry that was terrible. Anyway they are 2-0 up now.

15:07 - Make that three! No, make that FOUR!! And some bloke called Howard has all four of them. Either the NL Vidiprinter (or the correspondent) is taking the piss or there's something quite remarkable going on down in Canvey! Blimey.

15:10 - Okay, now it's getting beyond a joke. Either Concord (and Howard) have scored 8 (at last glance) in ten minutes or the bloke sending the scores has got a button stuck on his phone!
Alderhot are beating Darlington though.

15:13 - Wahey!! Tamuff 1-0 Harrogate. No scorer as yet.

15:16 - Right, I can obviouly not believe a single thing on the NL Vidiprinter! Currently it has the following scores flashing through:
Forest Green 4-7 Ebbsfleet
Concord 13 -0 Waltham
Corby11-0 Merthyr (we can but wish)

And still they clock up.
The Tamworth score is correct though, Gareth Sheldon the scorer.

15:21 - Ashford Town are 27-0 up away at Corinthins apparently, hmmm.
Notts County 1-1 Bournemouth
Mansfield are beating Eastbourne and Satanage, who had an awful start to the season considering they were amongst the favourites, are 2-0 up against The Marmite Miners.

15:25 - Ah, it's sorted itself out I think.
Solihull Poors 1-0 Droylesden

15:27 - Or has it, no updates at all now. Feck it!

15:30 - Dirty Leeds 1-0 Crewe. Aldershot 2-0 up against Darlo. Decent start to the season for Aldershot.

15:33 - Cambridge 1-o Wrexham, I still fancy Brian Little's men to go back up, but that's probably just because Brian Little was a boyhood hero of mine.
Weymuff 1-1 Histon.

15:35 - "Due to a technical error there is no Vidiprinter today, we apologies for the inconvenience."
Thought so.

15:38 - Burundi beat Seychelles 2-1. Don't suppose anyone knows if that's a surprise or not?

15:41 - Trouble is I don't know what's happening in the other Conf North games, I'll do a HT and FT round-up. Not that anyone actually cares!
Lewes o-1 Barrow.

15:44 - Found a few scores on the Conf North forum, Southport 0-1 Alfreton is the biggest shock. Burscough are beating Mick Hucknall and Telford are 1 up against Gainsborough.

15:56 - The game at Solihull has been abandoned, I can see why, I'm working in Solihull and it's been absolutely bucketing it down for two hours now.
Scotland lost to Macedonia *snigger*!

16:04 - Wales 0-0 Azerbaijan. Good score in scrabble but Wales should be winning this one surely?

16:08 - Mick Hucknall 0-2 Burs'cough'; Farcely 2-1 Stalybridge

16:17 - Ay up, it's now Tamuff 2-0 Harrogate. Well, I think we go third if it stays like this.
And Gainsboroigh have equalised at Telford too.

16:21 - Satanage now 4-0 up against The Munchers, shame. No respite for Luton who are 2-0 down at Macclesfield.

16:22 - It's all gone goal crazy at The Lamb, 3-1 now. Still don't know the scorers.

16:24 - Wales have a penalty against Azerbywhatsit...and it's....a.....wait for it.....saved!! *snigger again*

16:31 - Wukkington 0-1 Deadditch.

16:41 - The lucky Welsh buggers have scrambled a late goal, Sam Vokes the scorer.

16:46 - Stalybridge 3-2 up at Farsley in the battle of the Celtics.

16:51 - And that's it, a 3-1 win, that'll do, great win.
Have fun.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

The Internet Really Is For Porn!

My attempt to drive up the hit counter for this site by putting some gratuitous naughty words into the Walsall V Villa report has drew dividends. A quick perusal of my Google Dashboard has thrown up the following keywords from which people have stumbled upon my site from Google. There really are some sick people out there!

milfs walsall

milf of stourbridge

milf forres

There does appear to be a lot of milfhunters in internet land, no milfs on my site though, unlucky!

how hairy am i supposed to be down there

Errr....dunno really. Down where?

free hairy asian

free home hairy

asian hairy home

asian nurses free

Not only do they want it hairy but they want it for free, and it must be asian apparently. Well.

asia very old and hairy


hairy boxes

Presumably for taking your cat to the vet in comfort? (Seven people have entered "hairy boxes" and found my site, maybe I should start a business selling them?)

And finally, one or two that I have no idea about:

crap and tamworth fc

How very dare they!

par or chain gang football

Nope, no idea.

and finally,

i am looking for a settee in coalville

That's nice for you, I've got one but I'm not in Coalville, sorry.